Yooooo Joe!

They are who we thought they were. GI Joe wasn't everything I wanted it to be but it was everything I thought it was going to be. The movie was hidden from critics pre-opening and then the critics crushed it once they did get a hold of it.

I had no expectations, but I had hopes.

I loved the cartoon. It was awesome. The different characters, the vehicles, and weapons, all of it. I wanted the movie to live up to what the cartoon meant to me and not what it actually was. The cartoon, in reality, was a giant commercial for toys. The dialogue was a joke and the battles were a farce. There would be a giant military engagement and no matter how big the fire power, none of the key players ever died.

The movie delivered on fire power. It had all the characters. But it had as much heart and sole as a $3 plastic toy. You don't go to these kinds of movies looking for great plots or great acting, you go for the attitude, the adrenaline thrill ride, the special effects glitz, and the nostalgia. Star Trek delivered on all four. GI Joe failed only on the attitude. Every joke fell flat. Crickets flat. There was zero sexual tension where there was supposed to be some. Maybe it was the need for the movie to be toy buying kid friendly that killed the attitude. I have to say there was a spark of attitude from the Baroness, Sienna Miller, but it was snuffed out about 3/4 of the way through.

All in all, I am not disappointed, I don't regret going, and I hope they make a sequel. I am a sucker for nostalgia...and explosions and CGI. But I hope the sequel takes the training wheels off.